Previously on Diaries of a
Uniport Delegate…that’s true, there was no Medicare last year but look no
further, you will be a getting double dose because it is the season finale. Yes
my dear readers, this is the last entry from my diary as a Uniport Delegate.
You can skip down to the end of the page to know why. For 5 years now, I have
painstakingly chronicled the events of every convention adding to it a mound of
melodrama and a pound of panache for good measure. I have written to amuse,
abuse, inform, reform and re-live different convention experiences. In my short
writing career, I’ve risen to the status of a FECAMDS celebrity that is loved
by many for my writing skills and hated by others for how ruthlessly I dole out
my sarcastic narratives paying no mind to whose precious feet I’ve trampled on.
Well, my sincerest apologies to all FECAMDSites who my thoughtless pun have
made many a times the butt of joke.
Let’s start from what happened 2years ago in
the finest city in Nigeria...
Paradise 2011 was a like
trip down memory lane or should I say was Zauzau all over again. The
accommodation, the utilities and the weather was as was seen in ZAUZAU. And for
my school that is just behind Calabar, we somehow managed to arrive way past
midnight as we did in Zaria. Thankfully, we had already been pre-registered and
so we went off to our lodgings. Though there was no supper waiting for us, we
couldn’t blame UNICAL because they had bigger fish to fry at that moment and we
were filled with joy for getting to our destination in one piece. Schools like
UNIBEN, ABU, and OAU to mention a few were yet to arrive.
We were hosted in the
hostels of Federal Government Girls College Calabar and for this we remain
eternally gratefully to them. It was a secondary school female hostel so on
behalf of FECAMDS UNICAL, I apologise profoundly for the inadequacies we all
encountered. God knows I had a hard time finding where to lay my head and
entering my room after events but it was just for a while. I mean, how long can
a convention last that we cannot put up with a few inconveniences for the sake
of our federation? The utilities were very sorry excuses for Medical &
Health Professionals in the making but as the bible says, “…count it all joy…”
and that was what I did. I was also determined to survive this convention; come
hell or high water little did I know that hell was waiting to break.
Dawn was heralded by claps
of thunder and flashes of lightening. I was tempted to keep sleeping but for
the love of FECAMDS, I lazily got up and went for the Opening Mass. The priest
who gave us the homily welcomed us all to Calabar & apologised for the
absence of the Archbishop. He told us that health care is not just a profession
but a vocation and so we should always bring God into our work. He further
admonished that we should always apply ourselves to our studies unlike the 5
stupid virgins mentioned in the gospel reading.
The homily was thankfully short;
a first in recent times but there was a second part waiting for us, right after
communion prior to thanksgiving. The CMO President of St Paul’s UNICAL gave us
his own diatribe on why the media houses should be covering the convention
instead the government was…oh you get the drift. He however was most pleased to
see FECAMDSites from all over the country in one place and cheered us on in the
efforts we are making. Dr. Charles Njoku one of the founding fathers took over
from him, welcoming us to Calabar and telling us what we all know; we are a
part of the happiest family on earth. Luckily, his speech wasn’t as impassioned
or as lengthy as the CMO’s President. We gave them both a deafening applause
and proceeded to have our thanksgiving.
Oh, our Thanksgiving! I
like to think of FECAMDS Opening Mass Thanksgivings as the 1st part
of a two-part fashion event and FECAMDSites have never let me down. It could
have passed for a spring collection because there gleams of green, bundles of blue,
rays of red, blotches of black, patterns in purple, yards of yellow, waves of
white, glimmers of grey being donned by
schools such as AAU, UCH, UNIBEN, UNEC,
UNIPORT, DELSU, ESUT, UDU, IMSU, UNIABUJA, BSU to mention a few. I couldn’t
help but wonder what EBSU was up to seeing as they have had no uniform in two
years but then they had did brooch/badge thingy that was to die for. Good job
guys. NDU was present, though few but had the overwhelming support of Unique
UNIPORT. UNEC’s Uniform never goes out of fashion and they decided to up the
ante by adding a classy muffler to it. I was soooo jealous. UNILORIN made a
grand entrance with a wonderful music selection for their thanksgiving-Praise the Lord, let the people rejoice-excuse
me…are we at a burial? (shaking my head). ABU Zaria and OAU Ife (not UNIBEN)
were absent at the thanksgiving because they had some mishap on their way. ABU
was robbed (is it just me that thinks it weird that ABU got robbed on their way
to Calabar the way UNICAL got robbed on their way to Zaria?) while OAU Ife had
a flat tire and had to spend the night on the bus at Aba.
FECAMDS Choristers from
different schools harmonized by NAUTH’s Dr. Mozart was wonderful. They
repeatedly held the congregation spellbound if for nothing else, for the mere
fact that different choristers from different schools were singing together in
harmony. Right after the mass was the picturefest. FECAMDSites braved the
pouring rain to go outside and take some pictures. This took another hour or so
of our time. If the thanksgiving was a fashion show, then taking pictures is
the norm. And so we struck all sorts of poses, made all sorts of faces and said
all sorts of cheeses while the cameras clicked away blinding us with its flash
each time. Subsequently we went for the symposium were ground-breaking lectures
in modern medicine were given. Unfortunately I didn’t take notes but at the
next I will try to take notes. The launching of Medicare normally holds after
the symposium but not at this convention because the Medicare was still on its
way. You’ll think the symposium would’ve ended early but it didn’t. Anyway,
when it finally ended it was raining cats and dogs and maybe elephants and
horses too. Well, most of us got wet as we awaited the opening of our lodges
and I decided to…yes “count it all joy”.
So after we changed into
dry clothes we went back for Supper and then Variety night. Supper wasn’t to be
hard till very late which was due to unforeseen logistical emergencies. FECAMDS
UNICAL was greatly short-staffed and was doing their best to meet our needs so
let us not be too quick to judge them for serving our supper (or its sorry
excuse) late rather let us think of ways to assist which ever school we find
ourselves in for a convention in getting job done because “whatsoever you do to
the least of my brothers…” it’s not my word. On getting to the church, I went
for NEC Meeting, while others were expecting supper. NEC Meeting took a while
but in the end we had new EXCO’s but unfortunately the hosting of next
convention couldn’t be determined. Supper came quite late and we were more than
pleased to have it when it came.
So there we were sitting
forlornly in the church and waiting for direction on how to go about variety
night. Old friends were catching up, new friends were meeting (as usual) and
strangers were staring at each other anticipating who will make the first move.
All of a sudden we heard thunderous sounds which at first I dismissed as peals
of thunder but I had to review my diagnosis when I saw people running into the
church. I was amused in that moment, confused yet still amused. No one knew
what caused the noise but majority said it was a gun shot. After a few moments
of panic, calm restored and we were about our businesses, chatting away in
careless abandon eagerly expecting the variety night. Another thunderous sound
sent people running into the church from all its orifices…sorry entrances. This
second was definitely a gun-shot. There was a little commotion outside the
church towards where the buses were packed but no one wanted to go and know
what it was. I guess we were content with the knowledge that what we don’t know
will not kill us. We huddled around each other like the apostles and all of a
sudden in our midst was a UNICAL Delegate. In our hyperadrenalinemia, we wanted
to tear poor Elvis apart. But he held his ground surprisingly and told us that
there’s been a riot and a student had unfortunately been killed, therefore,
nobody will be allowed to go anywhere anymore. He expressed his great
displeasure at the turn things had taken and apologised to us on behalf of
UNICAL and FECAMDS UNICAL. And then like the ghost whom he came, he
disappeared. We were left to our own devices. Most of were in no mood for
partying but then some good-spirited FECAMDSites were able to elevate our moods
and then variety night started.
Desperate times they say
call for desperate measures and it was really a desperate situation for us to
have our Variety night in the church. But FECAMDSites hated to be put down by
the unpleasant situation. Thanks to schools like EBSU and UNIBEN who saw to it
that the Variety Night started off and was fun. The joie de vivre they
exhibited was quite contagious and in no time several schools were mounting the
improvised stage to render their presentations. I think that was the best
Variety night most of us have attended not because of the quality or content of
presentations but because we were united in our adversity. It brought out the
real FECAMDS love in all of us and there were no longer demarcations of state, school
or ethnicity. I love my FECAMDS family. The presentations continued for some
time but we eventually tired and a good number sought succour in the confines
of the church pew while a few rambunctious ones like yours-truly gisted the
night away with old and new friends.
At the earliest crack of
dawn, our buses left the school for the hostels where we hurriedly showered and
came back to the buses to leave for the retreat but that was not to be. So we
had a blast that morning, singing and dancing all thanks to UNIBEN’s standby
drums. Even the showers of blessing couldn’t put a damper on our spirits. Yes
our breakfast arrived quite late and was…let’s forget how it was but we were
grateful to have eaten at all. I mean our hosts had been thrown out of the hostels
so they had to organize themselves and then attend to our needs. Let’s focus a
while on what UNICAL must have been going through at that point in time,
through no fault of theirs; our need for curtsies and courtesies in breakfast
must pale in comparison. Whatever the case may be, we left for the retreat
which was a typical Convention retreat. More than half of the church was asleep
at any point in time while the other half was divided between those inside and
those outside the church. I and some friends made the best use of the
opportunity to iron our dinner outfits at the priest’s
residence. I’m sure some people’s lives were changed by the retreat; I pray it
is for the better. It is also my sincerest prayers that subsequent retreats
affect more lives positively.
The instant the retreat
ended, we took a few pictures (no be FECAMDS again?) and were on our merry way
to…you guessed right, Tinapa. Tinapa was everything it promised to be and even
more. In typical FECAMDS manner, we broke into small groups and went touring.
The rain couldn’t put us down. A little shopping here, a little ride there and
some gaming was all that was needed to complete our Tinapa experience. Minutes
turned into hours and before we knew it, night came. Hurriedly like Cinderella
at the stroke of midnight, we left Tinapa and like Cinderella still we left
with a dull ache in our chest after seeing such beautiful sights. But we need
not have regretted for we left a ball for a banquet in our honour, talk of
moving up the social ladder.
The dinner! Oh the dinner!
The breath-taking-oh-my-god-heaven-kissed-colour-themed dinner! Though the
convention had been filled with ups and downs (which convention isn’t?), the
trip to Tinapa and the Dinner made up for all the drawbacks we had experienced
so far. The buffet-style service was a new innovation and it sure spiced things
up. I think the climax of the evening was the Salsa by UNIBEN. It was energetic
yet svelte, brisk motions yet dazzling. The resounding applause they received
was worth it for they had given a command performance. The good thing about
this dinner was that we ate to our hearts content and then we were able to hear
ourselves and make small talk with new friends over our pepper-soup and finger
food. Like all dinners, this too came to an end, marking the end of the
convention. Many people were displeased at the events of the convention but the
memories of the dinner and Tinapa keeps pleading the cause of Calabar and
reminding us that the convention wasn’t all bad. We left for our different
hostels where most of us didn’t sleep. We just showered, changed into something
road-worthy (if you get my meaning) and proceeded with long goodbye chats while
waiting for day to break so that we can part ways. Finally day did break; I
can’t quite say we were eager to go or reluctant to leave but every convention
ends on an ambivalent note and this was no different. As usual, we made vague
promises to stay in touch (all lies if you ask me) and exchanged phone numbers
and the like to that effect.
…back to the present, it
was interesting right? Well if you are sad for missing Paradise 2011; get ready
to commit suicide if you also missed Harvest 2012. It is time to revel, regale
and relive the memories of Makurdi; I assure you that they are worth re-visiting
ever-so-often.
The Pre-Convention NEC
Meeting prepared me for the sensations and sensualities of Makurdi but my
entire sermon on the tranquil nature of Benue and its inhabitants fell on many
deaf ears. Unfortunately for the chicken-hearted ones (or should I say
illiterates who confuse Makurdi, Benue for Maiduguri, Borno) and those who
genuinely could not make it, the best Convention in history just passed you by.
Dare I start with the usual discourse of how we got there? Boring! I’d rather
leave that to your imaginations. Just bear in mind that being in Nigeria’s
middle belt and having an expansive land mass, the journey to Benue State from
any part of Nigeria isn’t a short one. However, the joys of arriving at a
convention safely (or maybe relieving one’s bladder after a long ride) supersedes
the displeasure, sadness, monotony that one may have endured on the road.
The fore-mentioned NEC
meeting and my post as Assistant National Secretary General familiarized me
with the lay of the land and the fine people of BSU. On alighting from our bus,
I sought out friends from BSU and schools that arrived earlier. The hugs and
kisses followed momentarily, each lasting briefly and often interrupted by
another familiar face demanding a handshake, a hug or a kiss (of peace or
otherwise, your guess is as good as mine). The catch-up phase was paused as we
were herded off to Welcome Mass. It was mercifully momentary. I’m certain
someone must have intimated the priest on how tired and hungry we were and that
many others were still en route. With the final blessings, registrations
continued and so did the tell-me-how-you’ve-been conversations. As more schools
arrived, voices may have been raised a little (all in good faith) over
registrations, levies and debts owed while supper was being served swiftly.
Makurdi weather which had hitherto been clement took a turn for the worse as we
successfully got the campfire blazing. Being Day 1 of the convention, people
were reluctant to talk to ‘strangers’ rather seeking out the company of
schoolmates and old friends. The dismal weather drove us inside and before long
we were seeing a movie while our suites (yeah you read that right) were being
readied.
STAMS (St Thomas Aquinas
Major Seminary) Makurdi may have been a seminary but in the rating of
Convention accommodations, it was easily a 3…no make that a 4-star resort (I’m
saving the 5-star for an accommodation with a bath that has hot water and maybe
breakfast in bed). The rooms each with its own convenience, wardrobe and bureau
were massive averaging at 4 delegates per room. Of course BSU thought it wise
we flex our muscles a little (to keep in shape and maybe impress the ladies)
whenever it was shower hour or we needed water. The guys didn’t mind for sure
neither did the ladies who needed only to pout and have FECAMDS Brothers
falling over themselves to help, chivalry isn’t dead amongst us. As for
yours-truly, a good friend accommodated me on campus and gave me the 5-star
treatment (Thanks Jonathan, God keep you for me). Nonetheless, I still kept my
fingers on the pulse of happenings at STAMS. Not to worry, I don’t do my dirty
laundry (especially those with FECAMDS insignia) in public.
Friday morning was lovely
with a balmy weather. Opening mass was THE EVENT and thanksgiving officiated by
yours-truly was spectacularly awesome. Trust FECAMDSites never to disappoint.
It’s safe to say that all schools at the convention made it to the thanksgiving
parade…sorry procession. Some new schools even made their debut while some
separated brethren returned to the fold. Truly it was a harvest of many things,
souls included.
Strike-a-pose-look-at-the-camera-and-say-cheese
is something that has become second-nature to us be it on the red carpet,
dinner table or right in front of the church. Pictures, pictures and more
pictures were taken just as the mass ended and as we went for the symposium.
Normally I would have lost it at how long it took FECAMDSites to get to the
symposium but the sheer beauty and picturesque nature of BSU made me forget the
symposium and enjoy the company of friends as the cameras clicked away. There
was also a harvest of tablets and capsules, capturing the perfect moments. BSU
went all out, broadcasting the pictures and videos as soon as they were taken.
Like I said, I missed the symposium, sue me. But I had a lovely time with two
great friends. Sadly, there was no magazine launch as we were still awaiting
its arrival.
As the symposium drew to
an end, the stage for a trade fair was being set and as soon as the symposium
ended, it kicked into full gear. A lot of articles were on sale, ranging from
the Official Convention t-shirt to Barbequed fish. Trust FECAMDSites, wallets
were opening faster than the items could be bought and our ladies were
fluttering their eyelids to get all that they wished for. The trade fair
continued late into the night. A lot of people forfeited supper to snack on the
roasted plantain and barbequed fish. Rumour has it that it was heavenly. In
true FECAMDS style, the 2nd night was a night of variety and spices
(if you get my drift). Though it may have started a trifle late, it was
certainly entertaining. We learnt a song in Tiv, stomached a Celine Dion-wanna-be
and were thrilled by dance moves that had never been seen. The pantomime by BSU
left no dry eye in the audience, big ups to them for we were truly wowed.
Saturday morning; to fast
or not to fast? This was the question a lot of people asked themselves. Our
hosts in their wisdom and in keeping with the convention agenda didn’t serve
any breakfast to reduce the temptation to break the fast. We were more or less
compelled to observe the fast as we went for the retreat. It was a deeply
spiritual event. There was the divine praise-and-worship sessions and the
spiritually-fulfilling bible sharing with the exploration of the convention’s
theme. Numerous lives were changed (mine inclusive) at the end of the retreat
and the Eucharistic celebration that sealed it all. As lunch was served, I
could hardly fault those who had no patience for decorum, they’d been fasting
and we all know how hypoglycaemia inhibits inhibitions. I always find a meal of
Eba-and-anything boring so while lunch (or was it brunch) was being served;
Jonathan took me and the Duchess on a private tour of Makurdi. We dined in a
high class restaurant and saw the city from an insider’s point of view. Afterwards,
we adjoined to Jonathan & my private quarters for a secret movie viewing.
It was a most refreshing experience and I, Jonathan and the Duchess bonded;
friends forever
In other news, a public
tour was taking the other FECAMDSites over some sites; the zoo, the river
basin, the market…it was nothing near as glamorous as my own private tour.
After the tour was the games. In these days of BH, I wonder whose novel idea it
was to pit the North against the South in the football march but it turned out
well. Volley-ball, lawn tennis, Basketball even Cheerleading were going on
simultaneously (BSU left no stone unturned in ensuring the success of this
convention). There is nothing like a little exercise to get one into shape in
order to fit in that Dinner apparel ordered months ago when one was little bit
leaner. The sun was merciless and sweat flowed freely. From what we had
seen…eaten at the convention thus far, it was also important for us to burn up
all those calories in anticipation for overdosing at the dinner; that was not a
foolish move. NEC meeting which followed the sporting events elected the new
EXCO’s and the venue of the next convention. Believe me when I tell you that it
was no cheap feat and it made a lot of us late for dinner or should I say it made
the dinner start late. Whatever be the case, NEC Meeting was a success (when
compared to previous Convention NEC Meetings).
Live from the Red Carpet,
our Ladies were astonishing and our Gents were charming. The Dinner being the
highlight of the entire convention, we were transported into another realm. The
décor of the hall was enchanting, the music was classy, the guests were
well-behaved and the entertainment superb. Earlier, I mentioned that Medicare
hadn’t arrived and so it wasn’t launched. Well, at the dinner, it still hadn’t
arrived but it was launched in absentia. Unique Uniport stole the day closely
followed by UNIJOS but it was in good fate after all, Uniport had won the
editorial school. This was one dinner nobody was eager to leave, even after it
had ended. There was plenty to eat and drink; the conversations flowed more
freely. We were having the time of our lives and it was the kind of night you
wish never ends. Alas, all good things come to an end and this convention was
no exception. Yeah, this was one convention a lot of people left happily and
eager to attend the next one while a handful of us left; happy that it was fun
but sad that it would be our last.
At the end of 6
Conventions, I can’t help but wonder; Were they really worth it? Were FECAMDS
Annual Conventions worth all the stress associated with planning and attending
them? And all I have to do is pull out my diary and relive the moments; from
Benin to Zaria to Ife to Awka to Calabar and finally to Makurdi. I have met a
lot of people who have coloured my world from all parts of the country and most
of whom I’ve come to call friends. My advice to you attending your first
convention; don’t be shy, talk to that stranger who’s eye have met yours
severally, get to know that you convention roommate better and don’t keep
silent at your dinner table. You never know where or when you’ll need their
help/ friendship tomorrow.
Sitting here making my
last entry into this diary, I can’t help the emotions that well up within. I’ve
attended my last convention as a student, I hope and pray that I can attend
many more as a doctor. And that my column lives on for a long long long time.
No comments:
Post a Comment